Trying

I have decided to try and write every night. I have recently started writing poetry again and some of them are trying to become songs. So, I am trying to keep that creative side of my brain flowing by priming it every night. I have found that keeping a journal and blogging helped me with that. After even the minuscule blog with the video below I wrote some really cool stuff. I don't promise to write, and definitely don't promise to share it here, but I will endeavor to do something like that.

It seems like relationships are catching around here. So many of the people I spend time with are in or on their way to being in relationships. I spend a lot of time thinking about that sort of thing and have blogged about it in the past. I try not to agonize and stress over relationships and my lack of one but I frequently fail. I don't think that I really want to be in a relationship right now, no I'm am a liar, I do. I also know that it wouldn't be fair to whomever to only get a tiny part of my time.

As I have gone through this semester so far Clayton and I have stayed super close and he visits me quite often. Now for those drive-by readers, Clayton is my best friend in the whole world. He is also gay, so there is nothing romantic between us. We are really codependent though and are not quiet about how much we love each other. Moving on...apparently there was a guy who was somewhat interested in me who heard me talking about Clayton and possibly even heard me on the phone with him saying "I love you!" This freaked him out and even after he heard that Clayton is gay still frightened him. In this specific situation I didn't mind having him back off, I am not at all interested in him. Besides, any guy in my life is just going to have to understand that Music and Clayton come first.

So take that!

I keep telling myself that the time will come and I will find someone to love. I also have to tell the voice that says I am deluding myself to shut up and shove it. I also look at myself and my life realize I am where I need to be and doing what I need to do. If I were to add anymore stress or complications to my life I wouldn't necessarily do so well.

That is all for now. Clayton is on his way to catch up on Heroes!!!! Yay!