A New Direction

In the last few weeks I have had a couple really interesting experiences and I am reminded more and more that life is a journey. Since all my friends are back in school and I here about it just by logging into Facebook I could really avoid the depression and sense that I had lost my way. I didn't realize just how much that was impacting my mental state until I went on a little journey.

I joined the young adults group at my parents church, partly to keep said parents happy and partly to increase my social quotient. I haven't been getting out much lately. Basically it is a small group of people(4) out of high school but not settled down yet. My friend Marsea is part of the group, we graduated together and have always got along. She was with me when I went to my first straight bar!

We have only met a few times and our last meeting was an outing to go for a walk in a labyrinth. We drove out the Gorge not too far from Vista House to Presbyterian retreat center called Menucha that is on a gorgeous bit of property donated by the Meier part of Meier and Frank. It is in a forested area and there are gardens and paths and plenty outdoor activities including a pool overlooking the river.

I don't know if everyone will know what a Labyrinth is but it is kind of a maze that you can't get lost in. You follow the path as it moves back and forth and around until you reach the center. Many ancient cultures used specific patterns of them as decoration as well as the real ones.

We walked quietly surrounded by nature and peace and meditated on whatever needed to be meditated on. I just walked and let my mind go to the place it does when I free-write. Countless thoughts ran through my head but the overwhelming majority lead me to feel a sense of peace. I could use the labyrinth to echo my life. I may not be going in the direction I think I should be going but if I keep going I will end up where I am meant to. It might look like I'm never going to get there but unexpectedly I will reach the center.

I think it was also a metaphor for my mental state. I have been dealing with alot of issues mentally including a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). I could see that my thoughts and emotions swirl around and take me in many different directions up and down, happy, sad. Even the problems with attention keep me from going straight to the center of what I need to do. Yet, somehow I ended up in the middle eventually with a calm center and less guilt.

This is a hint of blogs to come

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