Oh, Christmas

One thing today, I officially hate Christmas shopping. People are crazy, they grab things like they are going to disappear if they blink. Small white haired ladies push and shove just as hard as the crazy housewives out shopping for her whole entire family. Today my mom and my sister and I went out to do some shopping. We went to get some groceries, and then hit the computer store to try to get my laptop fixed, which has been a crazy crazy process. The phone number didn't work for me, but for them it did. So finally the box to send the computer to them is coming, and should be here by the end of the week. Then I went to the bookstore next door to pick up a gift for a coworker of mine. Then we went to pick up a few other things that I want name, after all it is the Christmastime. Secrets abound.

This Christmas we are having many people here at out house. my grandfather and his girlfriend will be coming. my brother, his wife and their two kids will probably be coming. Then the craziness will begin. We have 2 different Christmas services to go to at 2 different churches, in two different cities. Then there are a few Christmas parties we are invited to and the many packages we will be opening, all the food we will eat.

Oh, the food.

Speaking of, I missed my Weight Watchers meeting. I forgot it was tonight. My schedule was different so I didn't just go like i normally do. But I'm not worried, I'll just go on Saturday. I hope that I will lose a lot of weight. I am so tired of being fat. I'm changing my habits quite a bit, especially my eating. I still have a weakness for cheese, and ice cream. But I can work with that. I just want to be skinny already.

I guess that might be kind of strange to hear from me. But I'm just tired of getting my clothes from the corners of stores in the shadows or not even at all the stores most people can shop at. I'm tired of people saying "you would be so beautiful, if you would just lose some weight," or "You could stand to lose a few pounds," or the absolutely worst one, "When is your baby due." I AM NOT PREGNANT! I don't even know how many times women have come up to me and placed their hands on my stomach and asked me that. It drives me crazy. Not only am I not pregnant, but it is impossible form me to be pregnant. Not that doctors hear that all the time, but I mean it. It is just plain impossible, not just a delusion. Even a few nurses have made me take pregnancy tests because they said it isn't impossible that I was just lying. I wish people would just leave me and my fat body alone.

Well, not everyone. Some people I wish would be with me all the time, and some people would realize that fat people are beautiful. Maybe what I really wish is that someone would realize that I am beautiful and help me feel like that is true. And, maybe its already happening